Spiritual and Emotional Work

Ever since I was in my mid-20s, I have been committed to growth and consciousness/awareness. Perhaps it's been life-long, but it's at least been conscious since that time. Part of it is just what I'm made of, and part of it is that I could see,...

Max and Michelle

Seven years ago, I wrote this short piece in a writing workshop. (Originally, the name in the piece was "Michael" but I've changed it to "Max" as that is my chosen name.) "Maxwell stays like a wish" Max is always there, my best buddy in the...

I'm Coming Out

Right now, I'm playing the hit Diana Ross sang in the 1980's (written by Bernard Edwards and Nile Rodgers) "I'm Coming Out." It has been such an anthem in my life, as in the lives of many queer people. I can't even count how many gay bars,...

Coming out

I came out publicly as a lesbian in 1985. And it was largely a non-event. My family accepted me fully, I lost a couple of friends, but it was largely painless. It didn't effect my work life, thankfully. And as time went on, and I kept living out...

Ch. Ch. Ch. Changes

I've been on T (Testosterone) now for just over 4 weeks, next week will be a month. Some people have asked me if I've noticed changes, and there are only a few, at the moment. One thing I've learned from reading and talking to people is that the...

Always Queer

Some transmen love other men, and some love women. Having been attracted to, and loved women my whole life, I can't quite imagine testosterone changing that, although I guess it's vaguely possible. Anyway, what that means is that the external...

Liminal Space

One of the things our society doesn't do well is honor liminal spaces, even though we go through many in our lives. Puberty, coming of age, giving birth, celebrating a romantic union, and dying are all liminal spaces. In many cultures and...

Tracking Change

I started T today. Yikes. Anyway, before I left for my appointment I did two things: took a selfie, and recorded myself reciting a poem, and a metta meditation. Each week, I'll do that. And then, in a year or so, I'll have a lot of things to use to …

Embodiment

I have spent a large chunk of my adult life seeking embodiment. For some people, that might seem odd - they just feel embodied so naturally, to question what that means might not make sense. But for me, my body has felt other, and my enemy since...

Not a Lesbian Anymore

I came out in 1984ish at 25, a little later than some, sooner than many. I've lived as a lesbian since then, an identity that I valued, and a community I've enjoyed. Being a lesbian has been a safe haven for me - I've been able to be gender...